


Sweet Asses and Bad Men

by Pineapple_Bob



Category: Alpha Flight, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Aurora has bad gaydar, Dialogue Heavy work, Jean-Paul has bad taste in men, Literally the entire thing is pretty much just dialogue, M/M, We have no backstory for Kyle so I can do whatever the hell I want with him, also these two deserve to be nice to each other, im moving up in the world, they balance each other out, this is also my first work with chapters!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 21:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10602690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineapple_Bob/pseuds/Pineapple_Bob
Summary: Come on, I think the title has you intrigued enough.





	1. DECEMBER 31st, 1998- THE X-CLUSIVE- A MUTANT BAR- NORTH SALEM, NEW YORK

“Gambit’s got a pretty sweet ass.” The sentence came so out of the blue, Aurora nearly choked on her drink, and turned to her brother with a shocked expression. “What? Did you forget I’m gay?” 

“No, I’m just-” Aurora tried to find the right way to say what she wanted to say. Shocked wasn’t it, her brother had always had terrible taste in men. “We’re at Rogue’s party, and you are going to hit on her boyfriend… Very loudly I might add. Besides what happened to that one guy you were talking to? The-”

“The bartender from Wayne’s? Yeah, he’s been in a loving committed relationship from three years.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Good for him.” Aurora smiled, Jean-Paul pretended to gag, as if the thought of long term commitment made him sick. 

“Oh please, I know you're only jealous that you don’t have that!” 

“I don’t do relationships, okay?”

“Are you kidding? You and Sean were together for two years!” Aurora reminded him. Jean-Paul winced; Probably because Sean is now the reason Jean-Paul doesn’t do relationships. She decided it was time for a topic change, or else this night was quickly going to lead to a drunk dial to Sean about what a lying, cheating douchebag he is.

“But isn’t Gambit also straight?” Aurora asked, Jean-Paul snorted in response, and ordered his fourth shot of the night. 

“That can’t be true.” he said. Aurora gave Gambit a once up; he was quickly on his way to being trashed, his hair shaggy and hanging low enough to cover his eyes. He sat around a tabling with Logan, Mac, Heather, Puck, Rogue, and Kitty all of them talking over the party noise and playing Blackjack. Gambit was whispering something in Rogue’s eye, and from the look on Rogue’s face, something told Aurora that it probably wasn’t PG…. or PG-13 for that matter. 

“So why don’t you think Gambit is straight?” 

“He’s got an earring.”

“Seriously JP?” Aurora said, scoffing. As if Jean-Paul hadn’t droned on and on not two weeks ago about stereotypes and how bullshit they were, after a reporter had asked him if he had ever done drag.

“And he listens to George Michael.” 

“Puck listens to George Michael.” She tried to counter.

“True but Puck doesn’t have an earring  _ and _ listen to George Michael.” Jean-Paul said with a smirk on his face.

“I’m so lost,” She said, throwing her hands up “My point is, you could do way better than Gambit.” Aurora said, and took a sip of her drink. Jean-Paul made a face and took the shot. “What? You don’t agree.” Aurora said, half offended (They were twins, if Jean-Paul thought he was ugly that meant he thought she was ugly too) Jean-Paul did a half shrug and sighed.

“I mean I’m good-looking and all, but he’s an X-men, and I’m just that gay kid from Alpha Flight that everyone pretends to tolerant.” Three shots and a mention of Sean had melted Jean-Paul’s facade of self-confidence.

“Oh, that’s not true! Everyone loves you!” Aurora couldn’t speak for the X-Men of course, but, while Jean-Paul and the rest of Alpha Flight had their fair share of ugly fights, they were all the first to defend him, if Jean-Paul wasn’t already out there defending himself. Jean-Paul contemplated this while ordering two more shots. He slammed the first one as soon as the bartender finished pouring it, and went to chase it with the second shot.

“That better not be you trying to work up the courage to hit on him.” Aurora interrupted.

“Oh please, I don’t need alcohol for assistance,” the fifth shot must have recovered his self confidence, “and I’m not going to hit on him, he’s got a girlfriend. And I'm not the type of guy to go after a taken man.” He said, made a cheers gesture, and put a large fake smile on his face “To that cheating bastard, Sean. May he and that home-wrecking shit-for-brains twink of his have a lifetime of happiness together.” and then did his sixth shot. Aurora had to admit, she did sigh with relief that Jean-Paul wasn't going to chase Gambit. She pretended not to notice Gambit checking out Pietro Maximoff’s ass for the rest of the night.


	2. MAY 22nd, 2006- PER SE RESTAURANT- NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK

Since Jean-Paul had become an X-Men, Aurora had to admit they didn’t get together nearly as much as they should. But it seems being long distance siblings was great for their relationship. Normally they only saw each other when Jean-Paul came home to Canada but Jeanne-Marie had been in New York for business and Jean-Paul had said he would pay for lunch. 

“So how’s life in the Great White North?”

“It’s fine.” She said, looking at her lap. 

“Don’t give me that ‘it’s fine’ act, I could tell from the moment you walked in her your anxiety is getting the better of you. Spill.” 

“It’s really fine. I’ve been making a lot of progress in therapy, I’ve made friends outside of Alpha Flight… but something is just… off, you know? Like, I don’t know, Alpha Flight is different without you, not it that ‘I need you to come home’ kind of way but in the way where being on the team just feels so… hard.” Jean-Paul considered for a moment. Jean-Paul and Aurora had seen at least dozen therapist between them. But nobody was ever quite understood Aurora’s DID the way Jean-Paul did, and nobody quite understood Jean-Paul’s unidentified mental health issues quite like Aurora. If anyone could place a finger on what might be the root of her anxiety, it was going to be her brother.

“Have you considered that it might be from living in the mansion?” Aurora cocked her head, to which her brother elaborated on his point. “While I can’t really tell if it’s the same feeling for you but I associate living in the mansion with a really dark time in my life; and that made living in the mansion hard. A majority of time you spend living in the mansion was time where you were going untreated, and you may be associating rooms and objects with traumatic memories?” Aurora thought about it for a moment and it seemed to click in her mind. She’d spend so long looking over her shoulder, worried that something might happen to trigger a personality shift that the house seemed to have that feeling of anxiety clung to the walls.

“So what such I do?” She asked.

“Move out.” 

“Like I could afford an apartment by myself in Toronto. I mean, I’ve got good money, but not that good, brother.” Aurora scoffed. 

“Get a roommate.” He shrugged.

“I don’t know who I’d-”

“Isn’t your drinking buddy looking for a new roommate? What’s his name again?” He snapped his fingers, searching his mind for a name.  

“Kyle?”

“Yes that’s it! Besides, a roommate that wouldn’t hit on you is the best kind of roommate!” 

“Why wouldn’t Kyle hit on me?” Aurora asked, trying to keep herself from getting to offended. Jean-Paul looked at her like a tired parent.

“Because he’s gay, my dear sister.”

“Jean-Paul, Kyle isn’t gay.” she said, now she was the one acting as though she were a tired parent.

“Mhm, how sure are you there? He ever mention a girlfriend? I’ve had one conversation with him, that wasn’t about work, and you know what it was about? I asked if he knew any good bars, he told me Lookout Bar. Straight men don’t even know the Lookout Bar exist let alone recommend it.” 

“He tells me stories about ex-girlfriends all the time!”

“I could tell you stories about ex-girlfriends too if I wanted to!”

“Wait- You’ve dated girls before?” She said, she tried to picture her brother kissing a girl and it was… strange to say the least.

“Her name was Ivanka, she was a Russian figure skater I met at my Olympic debut and she was really really  _ really _ into rough se-”

“Okay, Okay! Forget I asked!” The rest of lunch was relatively uneventful, aside from the normal glares, stares, and whispers that met the Beaubier twins where they went. It's hard to be high profile mutant. She wondered how Jean-Paul handled it all so well, he faced much more public ridicule than Jeanne-Marie ever did and it still made the tips of her ears flush and feel hot when people stared, Jean-Paul was stone cold. 

“You ever see the Xavier Mansion?” Jean-Paul asked out of the blue while they left the restaurant. 

“Uh.. No?” 

“You want to?” He had a sparkle in his eye and a smile on his face.

“Of course.” She smiled back at him, she’d never seen her brother so happy before. She missed him terribly of course but she had never seen him talk about Alpha Flight or the Alpha Flight mansion with anything but disdain in his voice. Jean-Paul was happy with the X-Men, and that was enough to make her happy too. 

They arrived at the mansion which, Aurora had to admit, was way more impressive than anything Alpha Flight had ever known. It also had more people than the Alpha Flight mansion had ever known, even that one time they had hosted the New Year’s Eve Party. Though, unlike at the New Year’s Eve Party, Aurora couldn’t find a single familiar face. Most of the people were simply students, young mutants who stared at the Beaubier twins, but in awe and admiration rather than the disdain they faced from the general public. She half wondered if this is one of the reasons her brother has become so fond of the X-men. These people understood what it was like to be outcasted. 

Suddenly, Aurora recognized a familiar face. It was a face Aurora had only met in person a handful of times, but almost every time he had been cooling off drinks and cracking jokes.

“Aurora! What a lovely surprise it is to see you here!” Bobby said, wrapping his arms around her. Aurora forget how this boy sounded like pure sunshine, it was so annoying. “You wouldn’t happen to be here looking for a place on our team, would you?” 

“Oh no, I’m just here visiting my brother, and besides, you X-Men wouldn’t have enough room around here.”She said, trying to move out of students way in the crowded hallway.

“Oh please! We’d always have room for a beautiful woman, such as yourself! Oh! If we were really pressed for space, we could always send Logan back to Alpha Flight!” He giggled, and so did Aurora, but what really stunned her was that her brother was also laughing. Jean-Paul rarely laughed, especially not at comments that could only be viewed as subpar comedy at best. It was at that moment Aurora saw that the very tips of Jean-Paul’s ears had turned red, and was reminded that her brother had terrible taste in men. Not that there was anything wrong with Bobby, he was funny, sweet, and attractive. But there was the small detail that he his type was not only women, but as far from having Jean-Paul’s personality as you can get. 

“Well, it was lovely seeing you Bobby! But me and Jean-Paul have some business we must attend to immediately.” She smiled, she grabbed her brother by the suit jacket, dragging him to the office labeled PROFESSOR BEAUBIER, and slammed the door shut behind them. “I cannot believe you!”

“What?” 

“Bobby Drake? Really? That’s who you’re pining after now!”

“You have lost your mind! I don’t like Bobby in that way!” He grumbled, taking a seat at his desk.

“Your ears got red when you were talking to him and you did that fake laugh thing you always do when you like a guy!” There was a beat of silence as the pair stared each other down to see who would give in first.

“Okay fine!” He snarled, “But it’s not like it’s ever going to happen. I mean that boy is more deeply closeted than anyone I have ever met.”

“Oh my god!” Aurora groaned in frustration, “Not every guy you have a crush on is in the closet Jean-Paul! It’s okay to acknowledge when you like a straight guy!” 

“Bobby isn’t straight!”

“You know what,” Aurora said, giving up another fight with her brother, “Even if Bobby were gay, don’t you think you deserve better than someone who can’t face his reality without cracking jokes about it every five seconds? You’re a serious guy, Jean-Paul. You deserve a guy who can be serious too.” Jean-Paul didn’t met her eyes but spoke softly. 

“Why do you think I deserve better? No guy in the past ever has.” It was strange to see her brother willingly be vulnerable without alcohol in his system. He wouldn’t be like this if he were still on Alpha Flight, she thought. “I don’t even want to be in love anymore because, let’s face it, nobody's ever gonna be in love with me.” 

“That is not true.” Aurora said, and wrapped her arms around her brother.

“Sean, Andre, Francis, Emmett, shall I continue, because I can.” 

“You know what I think?” She said, smoothing down his hair. “I think you know what this kind of life does to the people you care about most. I think you’ve lost a lot of friends to superheroing, and you can’t stand the thought of losing more. So you go for the guy who you know will hurt you in the end. Because you’re used to the pain. But that’s not how love is suppose to work, brother. It’s not suppose to be waiting for the other shoe to drop.” They stay their silent for a moment, before Aurora spoke again “Tell you what, I’m going to go home tonight, and I’m going to look for an apartment; and you, are going to give yourselves a chance at finding a boy who actually deserves you. Deal?”

“Alright, fine, Deal.” 

By that night, Aurora was back in Toronto. She kept up her end of the bargain and began looking for apartments. A text alert lit up her phone. 

**Kyle: I know you just got back from your business trip. But I could really use a drink and a shoulder to cry on.**

They met up at their usual bar in their usual booth, and Kyle looked like a mess while he ordered.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked.

“What’ll get me drunk the fastest?” Kyle sighed, the bartender smirked and began pouring.

“What’s happened? You look like shit.” Aurora said, as sympathetically as you can tell someone they look like shit. 

“Yeah, you know, I feel bad and I know I can’t judge because, I was in their shoes once, but goddamn new gays are so damn flighty! Like I know it’s hard to come out to your parents! But you’d think after dating for almost a year, you might at least tell your sister, or your goddamn roommate!” Aurora made a face that was apparently too obvious with her shock. “Wait… You didn’t know I was gay?”

“No I didn’t,” Aurora said, blushing remembering her argument with her brother earlier, “But I’m assuming that relationships over?” 

“I wasn’t even the one who dumped him.” Kyle grumbled, folding his arms. “I deserve more than a text message.”

“That sucks, dude.”

“Plus, Tuck moved out today, and I can’t afford to not have a roommate by the end of the month.”

“Well, I mean,” She said, awkwardly fidgeting with her glass, “I don’t know how open you are to living with a superhero but I’m looking to move out of the mansion.”

“Wait… really?”

“Yeah. Jean-Paul said something about, moving out of the mansion might be the next step in overcoming my mental illness. I mean, I wouldn’t really be in your hair a lot since I do spend a lot of time saving the world. I’m pretty tidy as a person, I can’t cook but I know all the best places to eat and you’re relatively new to Canada and Toronto, so I can, I don’t know, teach you the metric system or something. Plus, I make a great wingman.”

“Honestly? You as a roommate? Sounds like a dream.” Kyle said, excitedly. 


	3. DECEMBER 13th, 2009- TORONTO PEARSON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT- TORONTO, CANADA

Being roommates with Kyle was like a dream. He was tidy, he could cook, and he was willing to go on mini-adventures with her, like going to the airport to pick up her brother. He was decided to spend the holidays with Alpha Flight for a change and hey, even if the Beaubiers were superheroes with the ability to fly doesn’t mean they should have to all the time!

“I have got to say, last night was the most fun I have had in a long time!” Aurora smiled. They had gone out to a bar the night before and Kyle had been a wingman for Aurora, normally Aurora wasn’t willing to put herself out there, especially when it involved men, but with Kyle there it felt like absolutely none of the pressure was on her. In fact, Kyle did most of the conversing. “I swear those guys wanted to talk to you more than they wanted to talk to me!” she laughed

“What can I say? Not even straight men can resist my charm.” Kyle chuckled.

“You know, no but seriously you killed it last night, let me return the favor.” Aurora said, a flash of panic crossed Kyle’s eyes. 

“You don’t need to do that.” He chuckled. 

“Oh come on! I haven’t wingmanned for you in forever! When was the last time you got laid?” Kyle’s response was to simply take a large drink, which Aurora seemed to take to mean, ‘it’s been a while.’ “So let me be your wingman!”

“Really Aurora, it’s fine.” He said, chuckling again.  “Actually, I’ve been seeing someone.” He said clearing his throat. Aurora went to press for more, but her phone vibrated in her hand.

“It’s Jean-Paul,” she said, 

“How did you-”

“His plane landed. Gate 15.” she said reading the text.

“Oh, right.” Kyle said, rubbing the back of his neck and chuckling nervously. The pair started to migrate towards Gate 15, 

“Aurora, there’s something I have to tell you.” Kyle started as they passed Gate 12. “I mean, I know you think I’m just here with you as your friend, and I am here as your friend, but, I had another reason for coming to the airport with you.” Aurora cocked her head to the side, he sighed and looked at his feet as they reached Gate 15. 

“I’m-” They were interrupted by Jean-Paul’s present.

“My two favorite people!” He greeted, seeming more upbeat than usual. He wrapped Aurora in a hug. “Hello, little sister!” He greeted.

“I’m four minutes younger than you.” She retorted, but Jean-Paul simply smiled at her and then at Kyle.

“Hey, babe.” He said, and processed to kiss Kyle on the cheek. For a moment Kyle’s expression portrayed nothing but bliss, until he remembered that Aurora was standing there, having no prior knowledge that her best friend and brother were together. Aurora stood there with about the same expression of horror.

“Well,” she said, froze in her spot, “This is news to me.” Jean-Paul suddenly also froze up.

“Wait, you didn’t know?” He said, the color draining from his face. “I thought you were gonna tell her.” He said to Kyle. 

“I was telling her, and then you interrupted me.” 

“You were only going to give her a three second warning?”

“Well, I wanted to tell her together but, you were the impatient one who just had to kiss me the moment you saw me!”

“Uh, guys?” Aurora said, still honestly shocked. The two turned their attention back to Aurora, both blushing mildly. 

“Well,” Jean-Paul said, facing back to Aurora. “Me and Kyle are dating, my dear sister.”

“For how long?”

“Well, uh, Remember the Canada Day party?” 

“Yeah… OH MY GOD!” Aurora “FOUR MONTHS AND NEITHER OF YOU TOLD ME?”

“Please, sister, we are in public, don’t make a scene.” 

“You’ve been here to visit since then!” 

“Well duh, my sister and my boyfriend live her now, of course I’m going to visit more.”

“But you never told me! My brother and my best friend! I cannot believe this!” she yelled.

“Look,” Kyle said, “We didn’t tell you because we didn’t know what we were for a while, but we’re telling you now-”

“-Because we love each other, and we love you.” Jean-Paul finished, grabbing Kyle’s hand. 

“You love each other?” Aurora said quietly

“A whole lot.” Kyle said, leaning into Jean-Paul’s shoulder.

“More than anything.” Jean-Paul added.

“My brother,” Aurora gushed, “and my best friend! I can not believe this!” she said throwing her arms around the happy couple. The three of them laughed began traveling to the parking garage. 

“Toss me the keys.” Jean-Paul said, as they got outside.

“Why?” Aurora asked.

“I’ll bring around the car.”

“I can do it! You don’t even know where it’s parked!” Aurora defended.

“I can see your car from here, and I’m faster than you!” 

“No! You know what,” Kyle interjected “I’m gonna go get it,” he said taking the keys from Aurora’s hand, “and y’all are going to have to deal with what a snail I am!” and with that, Kyle headed for the car.

“I got to say, brother, your taste in men has improved tremendously.”

“Well, a wise woman once told me I deserved to be loved,” Jean-Paul said to Aurora as they both watched Kyle walk away from them, “Plus, Kyle’s got a pretty sweet ass.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of do my Calculus homework, I watched the episode of FRIENDS where Ross finds out about Monica and Chandler and my roommate joked that that was probably how Aurora reacted to Kyle and Jean-Paul. Add to that, Jean-Paul's bad taste in men (before Kyle, of course) and a fanfic was born.  
> Tell me what you think! Or don't, you have free will so you can make your own choices in life, who am I to tell you how to live it? Some stranger on the internet? I support you either way reader.


End file.
